Oh yeah, the title strikes well right !!! I know all your minds have reached the seventh sky, but yeah get them back here and start reading the next part of my unending story.
So I didn't post anything yesterday. I wont be saying - Dude! I had exams. Its similar, but yeah I didn't have the exams. Due to the public transport bandh the professional ethics exam got postponed. I was planning to start writing then and there, but then Mr. Modi Ji comes and reveals that all the money in my purse was invalid from tomorrow on wards. And then I realize shit, I don't have any money in my account, that means no mts recharge, no phone recharge and no paytm shopping, nothing. So had to runoff and put some money into my account. In all that chaos this kinda got sidelined.
The earlier mentioned chaos reminds me as to what my life is at this present moment. Its full of CHAOS. Ummi and Baps not here, gotta get a dress designed, no time, internship is there in between, and then Jan mid is like tomorrow.... I didn't arrange all this into proper words as all these are my thoughts every single minute of my life. And I am worried about the every single thing.
Also, I started questioning every single aspect I used to appreciate (yeah, the arranged marriage part of it). I know, don't purse your lips, I am doing the same thing. What the hell is happening to me ???
The fact that I am getting married to a stranger is irking me and freaking me out. If I divide my mind into 2 and I put the 50% girl and 50% rebel on for a debate, I know this would happen. The rebel in me would say Yo, we are into an adventure, and the girl would say shut up, this is no adventure you are getting married to a stranger, and every single law abiding girl goes through this. And then the rebel would say, yeah, this is so much a good girl thing and when did we become like this. THIS IS MY SITUATION. Every bit of my brain is fighting against each other trying to put things straight and trying to figure out something. In this metamorphosis, I fear I may lose my Sanity.
And when I tell people how much this is killing me, they say your father and mother did this like this, your grand father and grandmother did this, your great grandfather did this, and his father did this, and his father too. Okay, I get it they did it like this. But why should I ??? And then they say, this is how the religion prescribes, that the girl and the boy should not talk before the nikah happens. Yeah, if that s not possible why are we asked to get married??? I don't understand. If our family is getting us married that's because they think we are two sane people getting married, mature enough to handle life and situations. If they can't do the simplest thing like talk on phone, then I doubt the trust on the maturity and sanity of people involved. Well, my case, I have a feeling my parents still think I am a baby, but what about others, all those people, whose stories are similar to mine. Just because it was like that years ago, doesn't mean its a law. If the society thinks calling on phone may amount to panchara adi (sweet talking), let them think so, I say go for it girls - the society is not gonna live your lives. you are !!!
Oh yeah, my earlier reference to the term girls and why I called that out so specifically,,,, Its because she is the one who moves to a totally different family, leaving behind everything she has grown up with, and they will be the one in the tensed up situation, as my very very close friend said (I know you are reading this). When I was all chilled up about getting married she said a time would come when you will start to worry.. Yo Girl... the time has come and I am worried and scared. Oh Don't you worry, unlike you, I am not planning to call off the entire marriage, I am simply planning to take revenge after marriage because he is one of those all too religious people who says I will call after Nikah.
Yeah, I can imagine what you all are thinking, That poor thing.
So I didn't post anything yesterday. I wont be saying - Dude! I had exams. Its similar, but yeah I didn't have the exams. Due to the public transport bandh the professional ethics exam got postponed. I was planning to start writing then and there, but then Mr. Modi Ji comes and reveals that all the money in my purse was invalid from tomorrow on wards. And then I realize shit, I don't have any money in my account, that means no mts recharge, no phone recharge and no paytm shopping, nothing. So had to runoff and put some money into my account. In all that chaos this kinda got sidelined.
The earlier mentioned chaos reminds me as to what my life is at this present moment. Its full of CHAOS. Ummi and Baps not here, gotta get a dress designed, no time, internship is there in between, and then Jan mid is like tomorrow.... I didn't arrange all this into proper words as all these are my thoughts every single minute of my life. And I am worried about the every single thing.
Also, I started questioning every single aspect I used to appreciate (yeah, the arranged marriage part of it). I know, don't purse your lips, I am doing the same thing. What the hell is happening to me ???
The fact that I am getting married to a stranger is irking me and freaking me out. If I divide my mind into 2 and I put the 50% girl and 50% rebel on for a debate, I know this would happen. The rebel in me would say Yo, we are into an adventure, and the girl would say shut up, this is no adventure you are getting married to a stranger, and every single law abiding girl goes through this. And then the rebel would say, yeah, this is so much a good girl thing and when did we become like this. THIS IS MY SITUATION. Every bit of my brain is fighting against each other trying to put things straight and trying to figure out something. In this metamorphosis, I fear I may lose my Sanity.
And when I tell people how much this is killing me, they say your father and mother did this like this, your grand father and grandmother did this, your great grandfather did this, and his father did this, and his father too. Okay, I get it they did it like this. But why should I ??? And then they say, this is how the religion prescribes, that the girl and the boy should not talk before the nikah happens. Yeah, if that s not possible why are we asked to get married??? I don't understand. If our family is getting us married that's because they think we are two sane people getting married, mature enough to handle life and situations. If they can't do the simplest thing like talk on phone, then I doubt the trust on the maturity and sanity of people involved. Well, my case, I have a feeling my parents still think I am a baby, but what about others, all those people, whose stories are similar to mine. Just because it was like that years ago, doesn't mean its a law. If the society thinks calling on phone may amount to panchara adi (sweet talking), let them think so, I say go for it girls - the society is not gonna live your lives. you are !!!
Oh yeah, my earlier reference to the term girls and why I called that out so specifically,,,, Its because she is the one who moves to a totally different family, leaving behind everything she has grown up with, and they will be the one in the tensed up situation, as my very very close friend said (I know you are reading this). When I was all chilled up about getting married she said a time would come when you will start to worry.. Yo Girl... the time has come and I am worried and scared. Oh Don't you worry, unlike you, I am not planning to call off the entire marriage, I am simply planning to take revenge after marriage because he is one of those all too religious people who says I will call after Nikah.
Yeah, I can imagine what you all are thinking, That poor thing.
Too true. The part about leaving home, everyone you've grown up with and everything you're familiar with to start a completely new lifelong chapter with no back up plan. It does help if we could just talk and communicate. It helps ease us into such a serious commitment at the very least..it's every girl's nightmare being thrown in a completely new environment complete with unspoken and challenging adjustments to make without any warning or reassurance about how you could prepare for it. A word of reassurance makes a world of difference..
ReplyDeleteThanks Meeran :) Ummah <3
ReplyDeleteexact situation of a girls life explained in a brilliant way...
ReplyDeletewaiting for ur nxt blog zain.....:)