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Things that Change

I got married... So WHAT???

That's a question I keep asking...DAILY. How many times? I have never counted, its going to be a lot if I tried.
Oh no... Don't let your mind roam elsewhere. Its just that people expect you to change so much that they don't even recognize you. Unlike what my Mom says I am not overthinking. I didn't post anything for so long so as to check if I am dreaming or overthinking it.

People in India (or maybe everywhere) expect you to change so much that they themselves don't recognize you. Yeah, a few days back, I met with my second cousin and she looked, or lets say evaluated me and when she saw that I spoke the way I did, laughed the way I did, walked (in my case jump around), she said Oh Lord, you haven't changed at all, now you should consider changing, since you are married. I smiled and gave my goofy laugh, as I don't unload my theories and thoughts with people I meet once in a while.

Now you think its only the distant relatives who thinks so. Again the answer is a huge NO. Even the close relatives think so. My grandmother stared at me when I walked in gaping at my clothes.  I wasn't wearing a tank top and skirt. I was wearing the clothes that I have always worn, pant and shirt, a jungly bracelet on my wrist, a shawl wrapped around, a lil loose held coz of the bloody summer. She said, Now that you are married start wearing girly thing. Oh yeah, I asked I got married... So what??? I didn't sell my soul the day before my wedding, or I didn't promise that I wont be myself now that I am married. And that girly thing you mean irritates me, makes me walk slower than usual, etc. etc and then she says you are not the only one who is married ever. And then, there's a lump in my throat, and I wanna say something, but I don't. A few things never change.

People including my grandmother thinks marriage means all of a sudden you realize you are a girl and start doing girly things. or maybe they think we will let go off thing we did and loved. What they don't get it is that in this transformation of life, what we need is to hold back things, wear what you have worn and live like you do. There's an insane amount of change happening, and like some machine being lifted from one factory to the other, our life can't be changed. 

Comments

  1. Unknown11 April 2017 at 02:54

    Zainabu, never change for anyone. We love you for who you are, and you are the best!!

    ReplyDelete

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